Straight up, Jurassic World Rebirth is definitely better than Fallen Kingdom and Dominion. The bad news? That’s a very low bar. It flirts with being decent — a return to tighter tension, grounded action, and some actual dino scares. But it doesn’t stick the landing. Instead, it stumbles into a messy middle ground of cool moments and crushing mediocrity.

🧬 So, Where Does This Fit?

Set a few years after Jurassic World Dominion, this one picks up in a post-chaos world trying (and mostly failing) to co-exist with dinosaurs. Humans are rebuilding. Corporates are circling. And, shocker — dino-related ethics are going down the toilet again. It’s not a reboot, but it is trying to reset the tone. Smaller scale, no on-screen legacy characters, and blessedly less Chris Pratt doing that hand thing.

🎭 ScarJo Carries, Everyone Else Cruises

The cast? Solid. Scarlett Johansson is great — easily the standout. Jonathan Bailey’s fine. That’s not shade; he just does his thing. He does, however, rock a pair of “slutty little glasses” that have the internet in a hormonal frenzy. And there’s a moustached hot dad. No idea who he is. Doesn’t matter. He’s hot. He’s nice to look at. That’s enough.

Five stars to him 😍

🦖 Great Dinos, Trash Mutant & Terrible Screens

There are glimmers of what this film could have been — smaller-scale suspense, some sharp set pieces, and dino scenes that finally bring back a little bite. But then it tanks with some of the worst blue screen work this side of a Sharknado sequel.

And the big bad mutant dino? A total design disaster. Imagine the alien baby from Alien Resurrection crossed with that beast from Jabba’s pit in Return of the Jedi. Not scary. Not clever. Just dumb.

Some dinos are scary. That mutant? Just silly. Like a fever dream drawn by a Star Wars kid in detention.

✍️ Good Bones, Terrible Dialogue

Beneath the mess, you can see the skeleton of a decent film. But the dialogue is extinction-level bad. Characters make inexplicable choices. Emotional beats land with all the grace of a dropped raptor egg. And by the third act, the plot just gives up and goes full Saturday morning cartoon.

Roars & Rubbish

✅ Scarlett Johansson
✅ Some actually tense dino moments
✅ The hot dad (justice for hot dad)

❌ Green screen so bad it hurts
❌ That mutant dinosaur belongs in a bin
❌ Dialogue that should’ve gone extinct‍

🦴 Final Verdict

There’s a better movie buried under here somewhere — but it’s smothered by a messy script, ropey effects, and the dumbest creature design in franchise history. Better than what came before? Sure. But that’s not saying much.